When you try to explain yourself and no one seems to understand even though you're speaking the same language, the stares, looks of confusion, and shaking of heads hurts you deeper than anything else. It can cause a rip in your very soul and you just watch life, trust, love and tears flow out in a mixture of silent ooze.
To label it frustrating and draining seems distinctly underwhelming for the actual feeling that comes along with these emotions. I've turned to painting, drawing and other wordless expressions to help because writing just wasn't getting it anymore. And I typically withdraw when things start spiraling down, so the arts help me hang on to one tiny thread of humanity that I'll use to crawl out of my headspace once I'm done processing.
I hate being annoyed with people I care so much about.
